Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
