She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Randomize
