Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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