I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
