We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
You are the jesus of drinking
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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