Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
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