What a fucking waste of an outfit
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i think i have two assholes
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
