You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
