I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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