I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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