You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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