He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
