Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
