I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
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