are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
