found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
