Non-Jews are for practice
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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