3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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