Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
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