Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
