don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
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This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
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It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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