biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow