I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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