I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
