hell yes lets make some ravioli
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
How drunk are you?
Completed.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Randomize
