just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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