I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize