i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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