this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I cut my penus on the lid.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Two words: blizzard sex
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