This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
