Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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