There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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