i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Randomize
