I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
