I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
