What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
