too bad you live with your parents still
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize