Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
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I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
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I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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