My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
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