Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
