I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
