he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
