Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Randomize