We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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