come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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