I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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