It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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