I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
