He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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