Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
