Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
