East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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