it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
