I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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