I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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