new low.... made out with someone while peeing
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
