some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
