for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
