I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
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