we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
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