Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
