At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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