my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
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margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
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The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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